Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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