Plan B is the new Plan A
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
