Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
