They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize