u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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