i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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