That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
