just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck