Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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