I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit