I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
