Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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