Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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