If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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