Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize