bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
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On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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