it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, beer. Big fan.
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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