I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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