Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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