i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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