just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.