Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...