just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.