It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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