So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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