There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize