This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
