no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
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I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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