You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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