I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize