it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
