what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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