why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
