Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize