My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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