Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
