You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize