just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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