dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize