i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
