You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i need some magic done to my vagina
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
