I am in a vortex of obligation.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?