Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101