Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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