She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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