i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
