Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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