Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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