there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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