a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a search helicopter?!
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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