I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize