fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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