shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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