i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize