There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize